Nowhere Everywhere Home
We found a home. Our seventh house, this one in the city of water, feminine creative energy flowing through an enclave of muscular tech power.
Once again I set about to bring order and create a new place to call sanctuary. Once again, I open myself and hope to find community.
It dawns on me that I, who yearn for place, belong nowhere and yet have not quite made the leap to belonging everywhere. How I wish this were the truth of my experience! One cannot prematurely announce a wish or hope as truth yet space must be made for it to be born.
I listen to a lot of pod casts. There are so many wonderful intelligent well-meaning beings out there offering perspective. While it is new in its chosen manner of announcement, the message is as old as human kind. How to live a good purposeful life; one that brings meaning to the individual and adds to the universal; one that acknowledges the truth of both our aloneness and connectivity.
I hear the word surrender, in fact I contemplate it a lot, daily. Surrender, even as you tune your senses to what is possible, what is burgeoning instead of what is dissolving. The universe “has your back” for you are meant to flourish. Pray for grace in whatever manner suits your belief of existence. Listen.
Wise words. Inspiring, touching, yet they always leave me wondering how? None of these voices are actually recommending passivity but rather acknowledgement that we cannot do it from the stance of control or will power. Ah, what is my attempt at control if not desire to bring order, to contribute? Yes, but if this comes from the present mind alone then it rests in soil not fully prepared, not properly nourished. Who was it that said ‘one cannot solve a problem with the same mind that conceived it’? Was it Einstein? No matter, the truth is self-evident. Refinement is necessary.
This brings me back to all those well-meaning words. Are we to force ourselves into believing their truth even as we attempt to surrender? This strikes me as of illogical; it is unreasonable.
These words and what they represent are powerful and inspiring but what then is the method? How does one authentically come to know them? This is why practice and the theory that supports it is so important. It is vital.
I belong nowhere this much is true, but I have found the practice that offers the path to belonging more fully to myself, my most whole self and in that, I rest in the space of the Great Heart and merge, at least for a time, in the source of everything. There are glimmers of this belonging on the surface. Little by little, as in drops of water on the thirsty plant, or the removal of grime from my window of view, I feel, I see, I intuit signs.
Find one thing each day for which to give thanks. And rest in the knowledge that this is a kind of belonging. Practice. Merge individual will into the potent source of all Will. The space of creativity that both flows forth what is made manifest, be it thought, word or deed, and receives what is dissolved. Align with the power of Will, icchāśakti, and then little by little, as refinement of the senses, the entire prakritic body/mind unfolds, we come to find that our will power is formidable because it is directly linked to, and a potent reflection of, its oceanic source. Come home.