Relationship Creates Worlds #55 August 27, 2018
“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive; it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” Anaıs Nin
Subject and object intimately intwined; rising in existence to each other. When both are sentient beings, each the object of an egoistic subject then what of that world? For awhile the two move as one, but inevitably something punctures the bubble and we are left wondering where it went or if it ever truly existed.
In fact no object can be said to exist without a knowing subject. They exist in tandem but this does not mean that if a subject is unaware of an object, that object does not exist. It may indeed exist, just not to that knower. This speaks of expansion, the opening and heightening of senses, the ability to pierce all objects and take experience in not just with the mind, but the heart.
Each friend then does not only represent a world born but also the knowing of any subsequent object brought into view through the relationship. In this, the pair populates the world made.
How many worlds exist for each individual? Many humans keep separate these worlds out of convenience, desire or necessity, and perhaps even enjoy the distinction made. Of course there is also another reason, ignorance. The absences of knowledge that other worlds besides the one we presently inhabit exist. But at heart there is a yearning in each individual for wholeness; a yearning to be known entirely for who we wholly are. A whole not even known to self.
This is the relationship of self to Self. When individual awareness rests in the dynamic embrace of its source, Consciousness writ large, all worlds are dissolved and simultaneously possible, waiting to be born.
It is, says the Śaiva Tantra tradition, the knowing of this relationship that permits all others a more full blossom. There is not just the creating, which can be beautiful and wondrous, but also painful and harsh; there is the necessary dissolution. Without this, a new iteration cannot truly come to be. So we rest for a bit of time each day, practicing, experiencing this dissolving of our social persona, our personal identity in all that entails so that we may emerge refreshed, renewed and ready to recognize fully the worlds created in relationship.
There are many relationships I look back on and wonder what happened? Why did they end as they did? Often it brings some painful memory of my insufficiency, for if I was enough, certainly that one would still be here. Of course there is much to unpack in this, but what I am coming to understand is these worlds are not really gone because I have never let them dissolve. I cling to what was beautiful and wish it were back and I want to avert what was painful so it does not occur again and so in a sense, I cling to this too. Attachment and aversion are just two sides of the same coin.
So what can I do? I do not wish to forget what was beautiful, the many many gifts given to me through these relationships and, I also do not want to be imprisoned by what I perceive as failure, mine, theirs, or both. Move on. Embrace joy and beauty while it shines forth and be steady in the darkness of challenge and sorrow recognizing they are two sides of the same coin; the natural movement of life will flip it one way and the other for all. Of course this begs the question, how?
We do need to apply our intellect, in fact, life calls for intelligence of every kind, but surface application is simply not enough. We must effect from both ends, at the root as well as the surface. To do otherwise is like, say theses teachings, trying to change the image projected on a screen by poking and prodding at the screen. This we know is futile, we must go to the source. We must go to what is prior, behind the mechanism that the light is streaming through to create the image on the screen. This is metaphor for mediation. We go behind the mechanism of mind and ego to that prior place, clearing and refining here we naturally permit the light of our consciousness to shine more fully, effecting change on what is projected out through our individual awareness. In this then, we are empowered to enjoy and weather what is seen on the screen, the worlds we create, more fully.
It is so simple. And there is something to learn. Meditate. There is a method, a path, an entire world waiting to be known.
Each relationship has shaped me, moved me forward. In my heart your shape rests, worlds unfold and I am home. My gratitude for what relationship has given me, continues to give me, is immense. It is gratitude and a fuller capacity to live efficaciously that compels me to write and attempt to articulate each week. In a sense, I am in relationship with each one that reads, that contemplates my words; together we create worlds.